I pad down the stairs to the basement, carefully composed and calm. All afternoon, the atmosphere of the house has been tense, silence broken only by bursts of argument. I’ve been careful to stay out of the way, studying everyone carefully, before choosing a target. If I win him over, I’m sure he’ll be able to convince the rest.
It seems strange that his room is down in the basement, while everyone else is on the top two floors, but it’ll make it easier to do this.
With my heart pounding enough to make me short of breath, I stop outside his door and lick my lips. Should I knock? But if he sees me before I’m in the room, he might send me away. No, I need to stay in control of this situation if I want my plan to work. Taking a deep breath, I turn the doorknob and slip into his room, shutting and locking the door behind me.
Sei turns around in his desk chair, frowning when he sees me. “What are you doing here?” His eyes flick to the lock, his frown deepening.
Leaning back against the door, I bite my lip with a shy smile. “Well, since we’re married now, I thought we should get to…know each other?” I tuck my messy hair behind my ear, peering at him coyly.
Apparently ignoring the look I’m giving him and the heavy implication in my words, he snorts and turns back to his laptop. “We might be married on paper, but I sure as hell don’t want to get to know you.”
Having expected this reaction, I bow my head, and softly say, “I know it’s a bit of a mess, but I thought…maybe it isn’t so bad?” Finally pushing away from the door, I take a few steps forward and watch his back stiffen. “Maybe you could give me a chance?”
Looking over his shoulder, Sei drawls, “Why the hell should I do that?”
I play with the hem of my shirt, glancing up at him through my hair. His eyes are sharp. “Well…” I walk forward with purposely swaying hips, tugging off my shirt and letting it fall to the floor, before stopping next to him. My hand slides down his arm and across his chest, slipping down to pause just above his groin. Smiling slowly, I murmur, “Felix isn’t the only one I want inside me.”
His eyes meet mine, coolly blank, and I slip my hand lower—
My wrist is grabbed and squeezed hard enough to make me gasp in pain. Jerking my arm up, Sei stands and shoves me back, making me fall back against the bed. I stare up at him with a pounding heart when he cages me in with his arms, glaring face an inch away from mine.
“You really are a whore, aren’t you?” he hisses, long black hair slipping over his shoulder to brush against my cheek. “So is this all part of your game? Trick Felix into marrying you, and then seduce all his husbands?” He laughs harshly. “Did you really think this would change my mind?”
Anger flushes through me—I hate being called a whore—but I push it down and cover it with wide, innocent eyes and nervous trembling. “I’m not, I swear! I just…I just want this to work…” I’ve played this part too many times to count.
Sei laughs again, almost disbelieving. “Fuck, you’re good, aren’t you? How many guys have you done this to? You look young, but who knows, right? Or is Felix the first one you’ve actually managed to fool into marrying you?”
“I didn’t fool anyone!” I reach up, brushing his lips with my thumb, and drop my voice to a husky murmur. “Why don’t you give me a chance…?”
His eyes drag down my body, and for a moment, I think I’ve succeeded, but then he looks at me, and says, “No, thanks,” with a layer of disgust.
I flush in embarrassment—and anger. Sure, my clothes are worn, and I’m not the most attractive (I’ve heard it enough to know it’s true), but I know I’m a good lay. Hell, I bet I’m way more experienced than he is. I’m not going to put up with him looking at me like dirt.
Although I’d rather punch him than fuck him, I push myself up and tangle one hand in his silky hair, pulling him in for a kiss. When he doesn’t respond, I brush my mouth along his jaw, and whisper, “Just give me a try.” I kiss his neck, and then nip the skin with my sharp teeth.
Suddenly, I’m pinned to the mattress, a hand twisted in my hair forcing my head to the side. Shocked, I stare at the dark grey wall, flinching when nails dig into my already abused shoulder.
Then I feel the teeth. They’re only resting against the skin, not yet breaking it, but they’re sharp, far sharper than mine. And then I realise—he’s a vampire.
A shudder runs through my body as it goes limp, and my eyes slide shut. I can feel his hot breath against my neck, spreading goosebumps across my body. He presses his teeth harder against my skin, and I let out a small whimper, hands fisting in the sheets beneath me. My breathing becomes slow, heavy, and I feel like I’m floating, heartbeat echoing in my ears.
I don’t want this.
The air shifts, the bed creaks, and I hear a hissed, “Fuck.” When I open my eyes and turn my head, Sei’s standing above me, staring. I can only lie there, limbs too heavy to move. Without a word, Sei spins around and storms out of the room, leaving the door wide open.
Closing my eyes again, I take a long, shuddering breath, before slowly letting it out slowly.
It’s a long time before I can finally sit up, and I curl into myself with a harsh gasp. My body trembles, aching with need. I thought I’d gotten past this—I thought it was over.
Tears rise, but they’re quickly, angrily swiped away. I’m not a fucking child anymore.
“Kit?” Felix is in the doorway, frowning at me. When I meet his eyes, he crosses the room and sits next to me, searching my face. His proximity makes me stiffen, pulse racing. “What happened? Sei said…” His eyes sweep over my naked torso, and I look away, jaw tight.
“Nothing happened.” My voice is barely steady.
“…if you wanted to have sex with him, your timing was pretty off.”
That makes me cringe, embarrassment flooding through me. I never thought Sei would reject me—but then, I’m glad he did; drinking blood is always part of sex with vampires, and I just…never again. It doesn’t matter how much my body wants it.
Felix sighs. “Whatever happened, I haven’t seen him that pissed off in awhile.”
Lips thin, I stand up and grab my shirt from the floor. My body’s still too hot, heart still racing. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. “Nothing. Happened.”
“Kit…” His hand touches my arm, sending a shock through me. I bite my lip, body shuddering, all of my attention focussed on that one point of contact. “Kit?”
“Let’s…let’s go to your room,” I murmur, fighting the urge to just throw him onto the bed right here. Maybe I can calm down by the time we get upstairs, but if not… I bite my lip.
“Okay.” Felix sounds confused, but he still follows me upstairs.
I have to hold on to the wall to keep from falling, and every breath seems to echo through me. I can feel Felix behind me, feel his body heat. Every step is a struggle.
“Are you feeling alright?” Felix asks, climbing up the stairs behind me to the second floor. “You look like you’re about to throw up or something.”
Or something.
“I’m fine,” I manage, body trembling when he gets too close to me. I curl my hands into fists—just a few more steps.
I knew I wouldn’t be calm by the time we reached his room, and as soon as he closes the door, I grab him and push him toward the bed, instantly going for his mouth. He lets out a surprised sound, trying to catch himself as he falls back on the mattress.
I can’t think anymore. I can only keep pushing and pulling until his pants are gone, and his legs are spread wide around me. He’s panting, caught up, his fingers tangled in my hair and body arching toward me, my hand on his cock.
Blindly reaching for the open lube on the nightstand, I coat my shaking fingers and start pressing them in one after another, probing and stretching while he makes small sounds below me. He’s tight and hot, and fuck, I can barely stand it. My mouth finds his skin, nipping and sucking, while I kick off my pants, and then my hands are pinning his above his head, and I’m pushing in. Felix gasps and groans, thighs gripping my hips and body trembling.
Oh, fuck, this is perfect.
I burrow my face in his neck and bite down, thrusting hard and deep until he’s crying out with each movement, hips jerking and rolling. And when he tightens more, a long shudder running through his body and a loud moan leaving his mouth, my teeth break skin, and I come.
It’s a familiar haze, the addiction, the lust, and I can only stay as I am, panting with the taste of blood in my mouth. Slowly, my hands loosen, and I sit up, our sweaty, sticky skin sliding together. Felix peers up at me through hooded eyes, hands still above his head, and licks his lips.
Somewhat dazed, I glance at his neck—and the blood there brings me to reality.
“Oh, fuck!” I shove myself back (both of us grimacing when that pulls my cock out of Felix) and scramble off the bed. I’m shaking and stunned, and what the hell did I just do. Normal people don’t do that. Normal people don’t get so turned on by fangs that they fuck the nearest person.
I need to leave, I need to leave right now—
And what? What the hell am I gonna do? No, I need to stay, I need—
“I’m sorry,” I say, voice thin and desperate. “I-I didn’t mean to do that—”
But Felix stretches and grins sleepily, legs still splayed. “I wouldn’t mind if you did it again.” He lazily touches his neck and glances at his fingers, adding, “Man, you’re as bad as Sei. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were a vamp, too.”
My nails dig into the wall behind me. “Don’t fucking say that!” I feel sick at the thought—vampires are disgusting.
Felix raises an eyebrow at me and starts to sit up, but winces and flops back down with a groan. “Why are you so defensive? I’m saying it was good.”
“It was fucked up!” I yell, nerves snapping. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Felix retorts, frowning at me. “Was I supposed to hate it?”
“Yes! I just…I just threw you down and—fuck!” I push away from the wall, tearing my hands back through my hair. I’m shaking too hard. “It was so fucking wrong!” And I swore I would never ever do something like that, I would never become one of them.
Rolling onto his side with a grimace, Felix mutters, “I thought you were being spontaneous.”
“Why the hell are you okay with this?!” My voice is high and strangled. “I just r-r—” I can’t even say the word. I feel sick.
Felix seems to give up on movement again. “Calm down already. We’re married, okay? Sex happens.” And he’s starting to sound annoyed, but for the wrong reasons. “Although I take it you aren’t used to being aggressive. Is that the problem?”
My laugh edges on hysterical. “You’re a fucking idiot.”
Felix’s eyes flash and narrow. “What the hell is your problem?” he snaps, finally managing to sit up with a small grunt of pain. “If you didn’t want to fuck me, then you shouldn’t have, so stop being such an asshole about this.”
My spine stiffens, and I open my mouth to retort, but a knock on the door stops me. A moment later, it opens to reveal Sage, wearing only a baggy nightshirt, his hair tied back in a loose braid.
“I can hear you from my room,” he says, stifling a yawn. “What’s going on?” He glances between us, but doesn’t comment on the lack of clothes.
“We’re fighting,” Felix replies, mouth thin.
“Clearly.” Rubbing one eye, Sage continues, “Maybe you can continue this in the morning?” He gestures lazily in my direction. “Come sleep in my room. I didn’t set up the spare, because I figured you’d be staying with Felix, but…” He eyes Felix, frowning, but shakes his head and shuffles forward to press a quick kiss to his mouth. “We all just need to sleep.”
Felix still looks annoyed, but he just nods, before shooting a glare at me. I don’t give a fuck if he’s mad, because he’s mad for the wrong reasons.
“Fine,” I say flatly, grabbing my pants off the floor. After tugging them on, I storm out of the room, only stopping to wait for Sage to follow. After a few minutes, he finally emerges and quietly shuts the door to Felix’s room. He glances at me, before turning and leading the way down the hall.
Sage’s room is just as big as Felix’s, except the walls are a soft green and everything is tidy. Yawning again, he pads to the large bed and crawls under the darker green sheets, settling back against the pile of pillows.
“C’mon,” he says, patting the bed next to him. “Make yourself comfortable.”
Still full of nervous energy, I hurry forward and climb into the bed, burrowing deep into the blankets. I keep my back to Sage, expecting some kind of lecture or something, but he just murmurs a soft goodnight and turns off the light. I let out a long breath and stare at the wall through the dark. But as I lie there, the panic starts to rise again, and I cover my mouth with my hands to stifle a dry, sharp sob.
I raped Felix.
I have to bite down hard on my lip, because I just want to cry. I always promised myself that I would never do that to someone, that I would never make them go through their lives being ruined, but…but I did just that. Just because of some fucking addiction.
Sage shifts behind me, making me stiffen, but he just lets out a small sigh. Another sob threatens to escape, so I carefully slip out of bed, shaking, and hurry to the door. I need to…fuck, I don’t know anymore. If I leave, I’m fucked, but if I stay, then what will that do to Felix?
And what will I do, being around Sei?
I stop and let out a whine. I don’t deserve to be safe—I deserve to be deported, because I’m just like them. Everyone was right about me.
A hiccough, then a sob, then my skin ripples, my body shifts, and I’m on all fours, dashing down the hall. I head up a narrow flight of stairs, and all I can feel is the need to hide.
There are two doors, one shut and the other slightly open. I slink through the open door and run to the closet. A jump and scramble, and I curl against the back of one shelf, burying my face against my paws.
I’m a monster.