A scream rips out of my throat, broken by dry sobs. I’m pinned down, trapped, and no matter how I struggle, I can’t escape. I scream again, but I know there’s no help, I know there’s no escape—
A sharp slap snaps me awake, and I pant, staring wide-eyed at the dark red wall. Cold hands squeeze my arms, and I slowly turn my head, shaking. He’s mad, he’s—
My breath shudders out of me. Neve.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Neve hisses, eyes wide. “I thought you were dying or something.”
My lips are dry, and a swipe of my tongue doesn’t help much. “I…” Clearing my throat, I try again. “Nightmare.” My cheek is stinging, and I reach up to rub it.
Neve continues staring down at me, before abruptly pulling back. “Nightmare,” he repeats, shaking his head. I warily sit up, eyes fixed on Neve’s face. He looks… He looks scared?
“Sorry,” I mutter, finally looking away. I’m still shaking, but if I talk, I’ll be fine.
I drag the soft comforter around my shoulders. Neve sinks onto the bed, rubbing his face and shooting me a tired look. I shift uncomfortably.
“Does that happen a lot?” he asks, studying my face. His eyes are narrowed, but there’s a flash of…interest?
Not sure why he’s asking, I carefully reply, “Some months are better than others.” This month was actually going pretty well—until last night.
“What happens in them?” Still watching me. Is he testing me? “The nightmares,” as though I need clarification.
No. I tighten my jaw, and mutter, “Nothing.” Throwing back the blanket, I slide off the bed and grab the first shirt I find on the floor—bright orange with some kinda black design. I might be trying to fit in, but like hell I’m gonna talk about…that. Especially with someone like Neve.
Neve gives a loud, exasperated sigh, and the bed creaks as he stands up. I stiffen and step back, yanking the baggy shirt over my head. When I can see him again, I find him still watching me. “What?”
But he just shrugs and rolls his eyes, before turning and leaving the room. I stare after him, shoulders hunched. What the hell was that about? And where’s Felix?
Rubbing my face, I drag my hands back through my hair and glance around the room. A familiar ring sitting on Felix’s nightstand catches my eye. I hesitate, and then crawl across the bed to pick it up. I roll the plain gold band in my hand, before carefully sliding it onto my ring finger. It looks weird, feels weird…but I should wear it. Maybe it’ll prove that I’m serious.
It might also protect me outside of the house.
Flexing my fingers, I slide off the bed and shuffle to the door. When I glance down the hall, no one’s in sight—and it’s weirdly quiet. Is Neve the only one home?
Tempting to just hide in Felix’s room. But, no, I can handle this like an adult. I’m allowed to be here, even if I’m unwanted.
I creep down the hall, curiosity piqued when I spot a slightly open door that was locked yesterday. A quick glance around (still alone), and I slip inside, carefully shutting the door behind me. Wide windows let in bright sunlight, revealing a big desk covered in stacks of paper and a wide, sleek computer, and a row of filing cabinets against the opposite wall. Probably nothing interesting, but…
Looking over my shoulder to make sure the door’s still closed, I walk to the nearest cabinet and start pulling on drawers. All locked—same with the next cabinet, and the next, and the next.
Oh well.
I cross the room to the desk, flipping through the papers left there. Newspaper clippings, print-outs from online…all revolving around PM Evans and slavery laws. Is one of them a lawyer or something? Or maybe just…really into politics?
Abandoning the pile, I reach for the computer, but freeze when I hear the door open.
“What are you doing?”
I swallow hard and slowly look over my shoulder. Sei’s standing in the doorway with crossed arms, hair pulled back into a messy ponytail and a pair of glasses perched on his head. His plaid pyjama pants and loose sweater are the opposite of intimidating, but all I can think about are those teeth.
Abruptly straightening, I take a step back from the desk, and say, “Nothing. Just…the door was open…” The door that Sei is blocking—and now closing. I swallow, hard.
“And so you’re…going through Felix’s desk?”
I glance at the papers, and then back at him. “Just some articles…”
“You don’t value privacy, do you.” Sei leans against the door, lip curled. “Were you looking for something to steal? That is what you do, right? Sleep with guys, then rob them?”
My mouth falls open, and I want to argue…but Felix obviously told him. So I don’t say anything. He just snorts and shakes his head. “Well, there’s nothing to steal in here. Except the computer, I guess, but good luck getting that out of the house.”
Too scared to meet his eyes, I take another step back—I meet the wall. “I…I wasn’t going to…” I trail off and squeeze my eyes shut when I hear him move. He’s going to attack me. No one’s around to help me—Neve, but he doesn’t care—he’s going to…to…
“You weren’t? Then what were you doing?”
“I was…I was just…j-just looking…” It’s barely a whisper. I can’t stop shaking. He’s getting closer, I can smell him, he’s right there—
His hands hit the wall on either side of my head. I gasp, cringing. “I’m sorry, I-I was just curious!” I keep my head bowed, cuz if I meet his eyes, I’m done. I should’ve run.
Too late now.
“Don’t think that crying is going to get you out of this.”
I almost want to laugh at that, because of course it won’t. Crying just makes things worse. A harsh sob still manages to escape. I’m shaking hard enough to make my teeth chatter.
“So? What were you planning to take?”
“I wasn’t! I swear, I was just looking, I…I…”
His hand moves suddenly, lands on my shoulder—I panic. I can already feel bones snapping, skin tearing, smell the blood—
I might scream, I don’t know, but I’m shifting, on the floor, running for the door—
Fuck, the door!
I skid to a stop and slam into the wall, shifting back. I reach for the handle, turn it—
Sei grabs me, and I shift back with a screech.
Screaming, hissing, spitting, my claws rip through his clothes, catch in his skin, and he’s yelling, but I’m louder. More and more blood.
Suddenly, he has me by the scruff of the neck, and he slams me to the floor. Shock forces me back into my human form, and I lie there, trembling and crying and growling in fear.
I shouldn’t have fought, cuz now it’s gonna be so much worse, it’s gonna hurt more, so much more, why didn’t I just let him?
I can’t breathe.
Sei says something, but my head’s buzzing too much for me to understand. I feel him move me, and then I’m sitting up, an arm across my chest to keep me upright. Eyes shut, I struggle weakly, but he’s holding me too tightly. So I sag, gasping until I feel like I’ll pass out. I vaguely hear a loud voice, and it takes me a second to realise Sei is yelling Neve’s name—but why?
In through the mouth, out through the nose, in through the mouth, out through the nose—
I open my eyes when I hear the door open, and I can’t help but whimper when I see Neve. In through the mouth, out through the nose—
“What the hell, Sei?”
Okay, it’s working, I can hear him—breathe, breathe, breathe. I force myself to look up, grimacing at the glare Neve’s giving me. I swallow hard, nearly choking.
“Why is he naked?”
“He shifted.”
Neve lowers himself to the floor in front of me, eyes narrowed. I’m panting now, which is an improvement, but when he presses a cold hand to my forehead, the panic starts to rise again.
But then that cold is flowing deeper, numbing my mind. It’s easier to breathe, relax…I’m calm. I take a deep breath and let it out, blinking hard. Magic—it had to be magic.
“Is that what you wanted me for?” Neve asks, hard eyes fixed on Sei.
Sei sighs. “I just wanted help calming him down.”
Realising he’s still holding me, I quickly push away and scramble until I can press my back to the wall. I watch them both carefully—just because they didn’t hurt me doesn’t mean shit. I can also see what I did to Sei: long scratches on his face and hands are sluggishly bleeding, and there’s a ragged hole near the neckline of his sweater. He also lost his glasses at some point.
Neve shoots me a look and stands up, crossing his arms. “What were you doing?”
Sei’s face tightens, like he’s suddenly remembered. I try to make myself smaller, but it doesn’t work, and he’s still scowling at me. “Caught him going through Felix’s desk.”
Now Neve’s scowling at me, and I just wish I hadn’t left Felix’s room. “Why?”
“I was curious,” I whisper helplessly, even though I know Neve won’t believe me. I lick my lips, wanting to distract them. “Can I have my clothes, please?”
“They’re not your clothes,” Neve retorts at the same time Sei says, “No one’s stopping you.”
Reluctantly, I carefully stand up on shaking legs and shuffle over to where they lie crumpled on the floor, my eyes fixed on Neve and Sei. I grab the shirt first and tug it on, before struggling with the pyjama pants. I only feel a bit better now that I’m covered, though.
I stand with my back pressed to the wall. Neither of them says anything. Then Neve sighs, shakes his head, and says, “Let Felix deal with this when he gets home,” and turns around.
Sei glances back at me as he stands up. “And what should we do with him?”
Neve pauses to look at me, too, then shrugs. “I don’t care.” He walks out of the office, and his words really shouldn’t sting that much.
“Fine,” Sei mutters under his breath. Then he glares at me, and snaps, “Stay out of this room.”
His tone jerks me into motion. With a sharp nod, I push away from the wall and run out of the office. Instead of returning to Felix’s room, though, I head up the stairs and throw myself into my room. I slam the door shut and crawl into the closet, burrowing into the blankets.
For now, I can at least pretend I’m safe.
***
I’m not a fan of water, but over the years, I’ve developed a fondness of baths. It’s been awhile since I’ve gotten to use one as big as this, though.
The bathroom is bright, tiled in expensive-looking cream ceramic. The bathtub sits next to a big window, which overlooks a bright garden and massive trees. If I forget about everything outside of the bathroom, it’s peaceful.
Picking up a bar of soap, I clean my toes, making a face when I see how long the nails have gotten. Great when I’m a cat, but a pain when I’m human.
There’s still blood under my fingernails. I start scrubbing, and everything I’ve been avoiding thinking about is coming back. I feel…sick. None of that should have happened.
What if I’ve ruined my chances of staying? What if they divorce me? If they do that…
No. If I can’t make them accept me, I’ll run. I’ll leave Correna if I have to.
The soap slips from my hands and hits the water with a splash. I watch it sink, shoulders slumped. I’m so tired of running.
The bathroom door opens with a click. I spin around, water surging over the sides of the tub to splash on the floor, and stare at Sage, who’s wearing a bright smile. His hair’s pulled back in a braid, and he’s dressed in tan slacks and a blue button-up, so he must have just gotten home from work. Is it that late already?
“I thought you might need some towels.” My eyes flick down to the blue bundle in his arms and back up to his face. “Have you eaten today?”
I slowly shake my head. Sage sighs and closes the door behind him. “They were supposed to take care of that. We’ll find you something after your bath, hm? Supper won’t be for another hour or two.”
All I can manage is staring stupidly as he walks over—but instead of putting down the towels and leaving, he sits down on the small stool next to the tub and sets the towels on his lap.
“So what did you do today?” he asks pleasantly, not seeming the least bit phased by the fact that I’m sitting naked in the bathtub.
“N-nothing much,” I manage, shifting uncomfortably.
Wait—how much did Sei and Neve tell him?
He reaches forward and runs his fingers through my wet hair. I flinch, but he gently cups my cheek, blue eyes studying me for a moment, before pulling back with a sharp wince. Confused, I watch him grimace, before he schools his expression with a sigh. “Everyone’s a bit on edge, so try not to do things that can be misconstrued.”
I nervously lick my lips. “I really wasn’t stealing anything.”
“I know,” Sage replies easily. “I noticed that the blankets from your bed are gone. What happened to them?”
Now I fish the bar of soap from the bottom of the tub, just so I can avoid looking at him. It’s embarrassing to admit that I’m scared to sleep out in the open alone. “They’re, uh…in the closet…”
Of all of the possible reactions, I didn’t expect Sage to laugh—not mocking, just…amused. I look at him from the corner of my eye as I set the soap back in its holder. “I’m not surprised. You were sleeping Neve’s closet the other night.”
“So you…don’t mind?”
“Why would I mind?” When I look at him, his expression is just as surprised as his voice. “If you’re more comfortable sleeping in the closet, then you can.”
I squint at him, looking for some trick—but he seems sincere.
I look down at my hands. “Okay.”
“So, what were you actually doing in the office?”
Of course he’s not going to let that go. Scratching my nose, I shrug, and mutter, “I was looking at some articles on the desk. Just…curious.”
Sage laughs, and says, “Curiosity killed the cat?” When I shoot him a confused look, he gives me a crooked smile. “I know, bad joke. Sei told me you’re a werecat. You did quite a number on him.”
And now I really want to hide. “I’m sorry, I freaked out, and—”
“Kit, it’s okay.” Sage leans forward and peers into my face. “You know, even if this marriage doesn’t work out, we aren’t just going to cast you out onto the street.”
Without thinking, I mumble, “That’s not what I’m worried about.” Even if Sage is being nice, I have to remember that I still need to win him over. He’s acting more like a…teacher, I guess, rather than someone who wants to fuck me.
I need to change that.
Stretching my arms and arching my back, I carefully stand up and lean over to pull the plug. Water drips from my arm to the floor as I reach for the towels in Sage’s lap, offering him a quick smile. He stands up before I can touch them, though, and I pause. He shakes one out and wraps it around my shoulders, then rubs the other one over my hair.
“Neve found some clothes for you to wear. You didn’t bring much, did you?”
I push the towel from my head, nose wrinkled. “I don’t own much.” I sold most of my stuff, only keeping the few things with sentimental value.
Sage holds out a hand and helps me out of the tub, not seeming to care that his shirt’s getting wet. “I guess we’ll have to go shopping this weekend.”
“It’s okay, you don’t need to—”
“If it were a problem, I wouldn’t have offered.” Sage finally releases me and walks to my bedroom door, turning to give me another warm smile. “See you downstairs.”
Dripping water onto the floor and listening to the draining tub, I watch him leave. I don’t understand him at all.
